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Sandy had moved in on Sunday. Monday morning, Mary started keeping secrets. They multiplied fast, and she got better at lying even faster. She was almost proud of it.
Mary told her mother her budget wasn’t working out after all. Mum was incredibly sweet about it. She wouldn’t hear Mary apologize or put herself down. Paying your way through college was hard these days, much harder than it had been in her time, she said. Dad and she were happy to help out as much as they could. Yes, of course they believed Mary when she said she would be able to pay them back soon, but she really didn’t have to. She had made it so far on her own hard work and her scholarship alone. They were so proud of her! They hadn’t booked a holiday yet this year, so they had some money to spare. They’d just go next year. Really, it was fine.
Sandy made true on her promise and had Mary kiss her ass every night as she went to sleep. Mary would crawl up to Sandy’s bed in Mary’s old room. She had put the nice satin sheets on, the ones she had got for special – and rare – date nights. Sandy slept naked, and would move her ass close to the edge of the mattress, blanket loose and half off her body, so Mary could strain and reach Sandy’s large, round ass cheeks with her trembling lips. Sandy’s ass filled her view, in the evenings, and in her mind’s eye again and again throughout each day.
Mary told her landlord she hadn’t been able to find a suitable roommate yet. She explained she didn’t want to have anyone there who might treat the property badly. She was surprised to find how easily he agreed. Mr Booker trusted Mary; she was one of his best and most reliable tenants, he told her, and he knew how hard she worked. He would accept the rent later in the month. He knew she was good for it.
Slipping off into dreamland, Sandy would murmur Sandy Things, half conscious.
Kiss. “You’re so lucky to have me.”
Kiss. “Be grateful for my asshole.”
Kiss. “You really need to look after me. I know you will.”
Mary didn’t tell her boss she was no longer taking work home, but to the library. Mary was really good at languages; she had been putting herself through college translating contracts from German and Dutch. Others double-checked her work, but they hardly ever found any mistakes. She was practically doing the job of a paralegal, even though she hadn’t reached law school yet. It used to make things easier that she could work at home. But when she found Sandy going through her briefcase Monday night while Mary was scrubbing pasta off the walls, she knew this wouldn’t work. Sandy was grinning, reading out phrases in foreign languages that sounded silly to her, and crumpling up pages here and there. So Mary had to keep her files out of her home and spend more time at the library, working through her contracts there. This gave Sandy more time to prepare surprises for her at home.
Kiss. “Your face is real nice and blue by now.”
Kiss. “I know you love my farts.”
Kiss. “You looked so sad when I…” and her voice slipped off into sleep, giggling softly.
Mary didn’t tell her grandmother she had asked her parents for help. Granny believed her when she said she didn’t want to disappoint them. Granny was stern and admonished Mary to take better care of her finances. It took almost an hour of meek agreement and self-chastising, but eventually Granny agreed to let Mary cash in early on some of the funds Grandpa had put away for her before he died.
Sandy’s sleepy fingers reached for the satin sheet and started siirt escort tearing little holes into the fabric.
Kiss. “You’re so funny when you’re hungry.”
Kiss. “It took three months to get this far with Jane. So much easier with you.”
Kiss. “You’d make a good pony…”
Mary told her classmates she was struggling with allergies. She didn’t let them see the text messages that really had her rushing out of class at all times, racing home and then back again to college or work: Sandy had woken up at half past eleven and wanted breakfast in bed. Sandy had dropped a whole flask of perfume on the floor. Sandy wanted some crisps from the kitchen. Sandy’s feet wanted more fun.
Kiss. “It was cool twisting your nipples. I think I’ll want more of that soon.”
Kiss. “Give it all up. All for my ass. It’s worth it, right?”
Kiss. “I know you agree.”
Mary didn’t tell the people at the diner that this was her second job when they hired her; they had a strict policy against it with college students, having had bad experiences with overworked and overextended servers before. Mary signed papers that said this was her only job, and she wouldn’t work more than 20 hours every week outside of school. Mary sighed when she saw that. 20 hours sounded like heaven.
Kiss. “We should go on a trip this summer.”
Kiss. “Camping. I know you’ll keep me comfortable when we’re roughing it.”
Kiss. “You can carry me as well as our backpacks…”
Mary lied to everyone in the world by making her face up every morning, hiding the bruises and the tired lines, recreating the old Mary. She got very good with that fast, or so she thought. Perhaps people were just being polite. Nobody really wanted trouble if it could be helped. Either way, it probably didn’t matter as long as it worked. She didn’t clean the gum from the mirror as she did everywhere else. It felt right that the sticky neon-coloured wads took up more and more room there, crowding in on her fake face in the middle. As she looked in the mirror, they reminded her of the face she was hiding underneath: Who she really was.
Kiss. “It was so cute when you came home and saw the flooded bathroom.”
Kiss. “All of that dirty water dripping out into the hall…”
Kiss. “That took care of your evening right there, didn’t it?”
And Sandy giggled again.
And of course, Mary had to keep secrets from Sandy, as well. Or perhaps Sandy was just playing along. Mary was getting very little sleep indeed, but Sandy probably must have known that she couldn’t function without any sleep at all, right? The bathtub was always filled with a bunch of Sandy’s dirty clothes; Sandy got them messy real fast and went through lots of laundry. It was comfortable enough for Mary to crawl into there when she slipped away from her chores for a few hours every night.
And surely Sandy understood, on some level, that Mary needed food? It had been an education for Mary. She hadn’t known what real hunger was before she met Sandy. She had so flippantly said, ‘I’m hungry!’ so often before. No, she hadn’t been hungry. What a thought: She had lived 22 years without ever knowing hunger. That had been an appetite. Hunger was this. But now and again she did grab a bite here or there: A guest would leave some food on a plate at the diner, another student left half a chocolate bar on her desk, and once, Mary convinced herself that the canteen food was so cheap anyway, it hardly mattered. Right?
Mary felt guilty, and kissed Sandy’s ass more sincan escort furiously. Sandy grunted happily.
Mary’s most precious secret lasted a week. Sarah had phoned her Sunday night as she did every week, and Mary immediately knew she had to keep her out of this. She told her she was busy and put the phone down fast. Sandy was on her PS4, shouting at the massacre on screen. She couldn’t have noticed.
When Mary didn’t get round to answering her emails on Monday, Sarah started sending text messages. The first one arrived that evening, as Mary was picking up shards of glass from the kitchen floor. She quickly typed a response and switched off the sound after that. She told Sandy it was nothing.
After Mary had gone to their parents to ask for money, Sarah grew even more concerned. Mary had to take time out of a class Tuesday afternoon to talk to her over the phone and put her mind at rest.
No, she was doing alright. Yes, she knew Sarah was always there for her. No, she didn’t need Sarah’s help, really, it was fine. That was a very generous offer, but she couldn’t take Sarah’s money, seriously, please, it was all going to be fine. There was no need to worry about Mary, and anyway, Sarah had Sue to look after now. The toddler needed her mother more than Mary did. After all, Mary was all grown up now, wasn’t she? Yes, she knew she’d always be Sarah’s little sis. No, she hadn’t seen the pics from Sue’s first birthday party yet, do send them along! Yes, Mary loved Sarah too. Give her love to Robert as well. When was his deployment over? Right. It would be great to see them all in August. Just eight more weeks! Goodbye.
Sandy started taking pictures at home. Mary scrubbing the floor for her. Mary on her knees, hungrily staring at the tray of Thai food she was serving. Mary’s bruised face against the carpet, kissing Sandy’s foot. Mary crying when she took her favourite dress from the paper box under the kitchen table and saw it was covered in chocolate. Mary emptying out her purse and handing the last remaining bills to Sandy. A full-length shot in the mirror of Sandy riding Mary on all fours, turning to wave at the imagined audience.
That grin again. Mary loved that photo, the one with Sandy in it in full and on her bending back. She looked at it every night on her phone before she went to sleep.
Mary had her first real breakdown Friday morning. Getting up from her desk after class, she suddenly swooned, classroom went red and then black, floor coming up to meet her, out. Talking to the nurse took ages. Mary knew she needed to get back to her phone as fast as possible and didn’t want to answer lots of questions. No, it had never happened before. She was sure it was because of these awful allergies. She was on medication for that. She couldn’t remember the name right now, but the doctor had said the pills might make her dizzy. Yes, she would talk to him. Yes, right away. In fact, she would leave right now – no, really, she could get up, it was just a short episode. Yes, she could stand. Thank you so much.
There were twenty-seven text messages from Sandy, and eleven phone calls, each angrier than the one before. One of the calls had been answered by a nurse, who told Mary’s roommate that Mary wasn’t well. This made Sandy even more furious. Mary wasn’t allowed to get sick, Sandy had written. Mary didn’t get a time out whenever she liked. Mary had to make sure that Mary functioned the way Sandy needed her. Mary needed to be a well-oiled machine. What had Mary been sinop escort thinking?
Now Sandy’s phone was switched off. Mary raced home. She called her boss from the subway station – she had collapsed; the nurse had written up something she could send; sure, she’d be back at work next week.
Mary wanted to take the stairs, but found her legs wouldn’t hold. She had to ride the elevator up instead. More shame. She reached her apartment door, and took a deep breath.
It was about as bad as she had imagined, but no worse, at least. Food from several delivery services spread out across the floor and all walls. The mirror in the hallway broken into a hundred pieces. The kitchen table toppled over, one leg hanging off at an angle. The last of her clothes sticking out of the toilet. All of Sandy’s clothes pulled out of both cupboards, strewn across the floor, stomped on and covered in ground-in mud, grease, fat, and was that dog shit?
And then Sandy came out of nowhere, smashed into Mary and pulled her to the ground.
She kicked her so hard Mary’s ribs creaked. “I’m sorry!” And again. “I’m so sorry!” Mary was frightened to the bone. She had never imagined the younger girl could be like this. Sandy hardly seemed fully conscious of what she was doing.
“I’m so sorry!”
“It’ll never happen again!”
At some point, all storms subside. Sandy went to play. Mary’s sore body got back to her chores. The battlefield seemed endless, but she started with the first piece of glass on the floor and just kept going, kept going.
Sushi that night. Sandy turned it into a kind of re-enactment of their first foot worship session, incredibly mere five nights before. Stomper. Grinder. This is what fun is!
She didn’t mention the breakdown again.
Mary got Sandy’s bedroom cleaned up first, so Sandy could go to sleep. There were lots more chores waiting for Mary, but for now, everything seemed familiar and alright. Mary had bought new sheets yesterday, and Sandy seemed to like the precious silk she had chosen.
Mary crawled up to the bedside like she always did. Sandy’s ass loomed over her.
Kiss. “Man, what a day.”
Kiss. “I want that new Arkham game.”
Kiss. “Sarah seems very nice.”
Sandy kicked her. “Hey, keep kissing!”
Mary was about to throw up. All the blood rushed out of her head. She swallowed, hard.
Kiss. “I saw the pictures from the little one’s birthday party on your phone last night.”
Kiss. “So very cute.”
Kiss. “You never told me you had a sister!”
Mary cried, a loud, painful wail.
Kiss. “So when I couldn’t get hold of you earlier, I called her. We went for coffee.”
Kiss. “She couldn’t believe all those pictures I showed her!”
Kiss. “She really cares for you, you know.”
Kiss. “And she seems to be a very giving person. Perhaps that runs in the family?”
Kiss. “Anyway, she agreed you probably needed her to help out with your chores and stuff. She’s really worried about your health.”
Kiss. “I explained all the things you have on your plate. She understood.”
Kiss. “No, really. I think she kind of liked the idea of our little flatshare.”
Kiss. “Yeah, she liked it alright.” Sandy’s famous giggle.
Kiss. “Well, she is your sister after all. You even look alike when you get sad. She was so quick to offer to do her part.”
Kiss. “Eager, even. I think she’ll love it.”
Kiss. “Sue might have to stay with your parents for a while, but that’s fine. They’re looking forward to it.”
Kiss. “Did you know Sarah is divorcing Robert?”
Kiss. “Man, finding that out from an email abroad must have sucked.”
Mary sobbed uncontrollably, and kept kissing.
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